There is much deliciously
enjoyable literature circulating about in the
form of books, newspapers and magazines. There
is also much pleasantry to be had in the reading
of letters from friends, small messages or even
from loose pages, displaced and forgotten. But
what is really entertaining is the reading found
in almanacs, the most popular of all known data
banks. Rich deposits of well-dosed wisdom, within
the reach of all curious fingers! How interesting
are these conveniently small books made of cheap,
ordinary paper and commonly distributed every
year by enterprising laboratories and drugstores!
How useful and inoffensive are teachings and simple
hints found inside, always spiced and spliced
with lines of good solid humor inserted alongside
the cough syrup ads! If the information is useful
or not doesn’t really matter to curious
eyes… The reading of the almanac is an enjoyable
tonic for the health of the heart and cool, soothing
shade for weary eyes. Who knows this better than
any other is my friend and comrade, the philosopher,
Antônio Joaquim, insatiable and untiring
devourer of all material that is considered pastime
reading.
One
afternoon an old treasure came to my hands, during
the annual organization of my library drawers.
It was a very old 1983 Sadol almanac of the thirty-eighth
edition, distributed by the Almeida Pharmacy,
of Taiobeiras, Sao Paulo state which belongs to
an old friend of mine, Antonino, one of the most
admirable personalities that I have ever had the
pleasure to know. What a deliciously wonderful
thing, Ms. Lisbela, mainly for yourself, who knows
so well how to appreciate the good things in life!
It’s almost like the advertisement that
the City Hall invented for our city, that “Montes
Claros is beautiful and delicious.”
Look,
Ms. Vera Lúcia, wife of Antônio Joaquim,
what a useful culture Greek has been for your
famous husband from Grão Mogol! These words
with Greek radicals, for example, which indicate
fears and manias:
Acrophobia – abnormal fear of heights;
Claustrophobia – abnormal fear of closed
places;
Gerontophobia – abnormal fear of the elderly;
Icon mania – passion for signs and images;
Megalomania – mania of self-greatness;
Misogamy – fear of marriage;
Misogyny – fear of women;
Logo mania – mania of continuous speaking
Pyromania – abnormal incendiary mania;
It’s not necessary for Antônio Joaquim
to jot these words down, because they are already
very well known to those who played… on
the football team of the Melo neighborhood…
In
another part of the almanac we are shown how dangerous
the automobile is! Did you know that since it’s
creation, especially after the invention of the
Ford Model-T, that those wonderful and astounding
machines have already done in with over twenty-five
million people, worldwide! A slaughter surpassing
all known wars perpetrated upon the face of the
earth during this century. The fact that China,
the most populated country in the world has the
lowest number of automobile accidents makes one
think: It’s the world’s poorest country
in relation to the number of cars in circulation.
In China, there is only one vehicle for every
11,600 inhabitants. That is even less than the
statistics show for our nearby Pedras de Maria
da Cruz, a neighboring small and sleepy hamlet.
And
how about this? The Japanese consume daily, more
than one thousand snakes as medical remedies,
even though the commercialization of these reptiles
is absolutely forbidden in that country.
There, snakes are displayed alive in windows of
specialized shops, so that clients can handpick
their preferred choices. A cooked snake is considered
an infallible cure for tuberculosis, rheumatism
and cancer in the Far East. Here in Brazil, in
some remote places of the northeast, when hunger
presses, the snake has many times proven its worth
in alleviating growling stomachs.
Let’s
learn more about honey: Did you know that one
pound of it is the fruit of the nectar of seven
million flowers? One hundred grams of it contains
as many calories as two chicken eggs. Honey also
exerts strong influence over the body’s
blood pressure, lowering it. In its pure form,
it contains the equivalent of seventy to seventy-five
percent of grape sugar, The blood absorbs more
than ninety five percent of the honey found in
the body with no problems whatsoever. Doctors
indiscriminately recommend the use of honey for
all persons of all ages.
Alright,
that’s just fine, but can we be sure that
our honey producers, over there on the west side
of the Cintra neighborhood continue to have the
bees and flowers, the grapes, and all the necessary
almanac formulas and hints for the proper maintenance
of the honey industry. That is what the last page
of the city newspaper always complains about.